Dear Jennifer, October 7, 2009Blue Bandanas: Jen and Mom with blue bandanas

I can’t believe that you are turning 40!!  After all these years, it is still so easy for me to remember you as a child. 

From the time you were very little, you were creative and full of energy. You were never content to just ride down the slide, the slide became some kind of prop for an imaginary place that had all kinds of people and events. You didn’t just sit in the car in your primitive car seat, you found ways to entertain yourself with billboards and visions outside the window. Life with Jenny was an endless stream of unpredictable delights!

One of my favorite memories was when you were two, and your grandmother gave you a toy iron.  My feminist self was so proud when you took one look at this thing and ask “what IS this?” At that stage in your life, you much preferred your “mocycle.” Even though the iron never became a favorite toy, you were always open to trying new things and having new adventures. 

Many things came easily to you. Reading, remembering, learning, riding a bicycle (really anything physical), caring for your many stuffed animals and dolls. I honestly thought you would play with your dolls forever. They actually became the perfect first audience for your daily concerts, shows and gymnastics exhibitions. Your move up to the third floor brings back memories of music and thumping day after day while you imagined, created and played. 

You were a very sensitive and deeply feeling child. I remember when your dad and I laughed at something you said that we thought was funny. You looked at us asking “why are you laughing at me?” We said, “We aren’t laughing at you, we are laughing with you.” At that point you said incredulously, “But, I’m not laughing!” In a number of ways you were wise beyond your years. One day as we were walking hand and hand, you stated matter-of-factly, “My mom, dad and I all grew up together.” In many ways this was the case, and I thank you for putting up with us.

In some ways, things haven’t changed. You are still that person who is sensitive, energetic, imaginative and enthusiastic. I see how these traits manifest as you raise Ruby and Ben and as you move through the world. Your joyful planning of birthday parties, craft projects, involvement in school events, the ways in which you find great satisfaction in doing things for your friends and family and your ability to write about the ordinary in daily life with precision and humor. 

I may not get to experience the fully grown up versions of Ruby and Ben, but I can see so much of you in each of them that it is almost possible to envision something about how they will be later on. I hope that in addition to their creativity, imagination and endless energy, that they each have the purity of heart and intention to do their best, just like their mom. 

40 really isn’t very old in the scheme of things. And as the saying goes, “Life Begins at Forty.” May you stay true to yourself so that you will remember today as the start of your best years. 

I love you dearly and deeply

now and always.

*Mom*